One of the purposes for me starting Unlock Your Bravado was to serve as a base/platform for my brand, and for my book CONTROL, along with the others that I have in the works – but now I’m starting to see amendments to my starting mission – helping people with the seemingly difficult task of controlling emotions and not letting the negatives of the world drive them to emotional ruin.
In the beginning, Bravado was about being yourself, maintaining and building wealth, self improvement and a multitude of other factors.
Now, however I feel like there is a new path that I must lend my hand to – helping people un-politically correct themselves/gain better control over their own emotions and moods/attitudes.
Too many people are offended by jokes and things that don’t involve them/have anything to do with them these days. It seems like people WANT to play the victim, like they look for something to be oppressed about or some type of way they are victimized.
There is a difference between pointing something out/speaking on it, and complaining – and I usually see a lot of complaints being lobbed by people who have no desire or will to change anything about the facets of life they don’t like.
You’ll complain to your family, friends, anyone who’ll listen about an issue rather than taking steps to remedy it, ignoring it or doing something about it – and then wonder why you never see any change in your life or in the people surrounding you.
If you’ve ever noticed the mass comparisons/contrasts between UYB and my Twitter, you’ll notice I’m a bit more brash, abrasive and outspoken on there compared to here.
I feel like Twitter is a good place to run social experiments of the exact kind that help show/determine the concepts talked about in my book, CONTROL – and as such I use it as sort of a simulator of sorts if you will.
My Twitter is a mixture between Motivation/Inspiration, Red Pill, Relationships and Trolling – but I usually make it very clear which is going on at the time. I say what I mean, mean what I say, and I don’t back down or take any shit from anyone – I love to antagonize almost as much as I love to debate.
You still have trouble controlling your mood changes and controlling emotions – you don’t know how to silence your anger, you have no idea how to combat depression or embarrassment, you still use your emotions to think and as a decision making factor instead of logic and reason, and this is detrimental.
Controlling emotions before they control you and lead you to a life filled with regret and irrational decisions is one of the major keys to living a successful life, living a life on your terms and being truly happy.
– Imagine how it would feel if no one could take away your happiness from you, no matter how many “mean words” or “bad names” they called you?
– Imagine you can get into a debate or a disagreement without feeling offended or mad?
– Imagine if you could experience loss without letting the sadness and depression send you into a downward spiral of your life?
All of these apply to me, and they can apply to you too, and that is why you need to afford yourself the knowledge and ability of controlling your emotions.
For some knowledge on the basics of controlling emotions that may plague you on a daily basis, here are some of the best ways I’ve found to deal with them.
Anger: The key here is controlling yourself before your anger gets the best of you.
You tend to cease all thought when you get angry – you act and consider the consequences after, and this often leads to disastrous decisions. I’ve always found it extremely effective to:
-Immediately remove myself from the situation, so as to avoid any further annoyance.
-Go into a room by myself, where I am free of distraction, drama and interruption.
-Practice deep breathing exercises, which in itself has many health benefits including giving you more energy and helping lower blood pressure, but also makes you calmer and more relaxed. Deep Breathing should be a practice you partake in regularly, but has great effectiveness when combating anger. Wim Hof can actually teach you a lot about breathing techniques, look him up.
-Think about the positive things in my life, present and future. I use this time to be optimistic about where I’m going in life, I observe the situation that led me to anger and think about how I could have handled it differently, and then I dispel the thought from my mind. By shifting from optimistic, to irritation and back I find it much easier to get rid of those negative thoughts – my mind is already missing the positive and that makes it easier to regain and maintain that mindset.
Depression: You get sad, things happen – you might lose your job, you might lose a family member – whatever the case may be I won’t tell you you’re wrong for feeling that way, however if you dwell and harp on it you are wrong.
There is no place for dwelling on sadness when dealing with the ruthlessness of a cruel world. The world will often blitzkrieg your life with challenges and hurdles but do you bend or break?
No, you build. Times of sadness are the best time to build your self confidence and resolve, as those are the times when you are the most vulnerable.
It is not enough to tell yourself “I am better than my problems” you must prove to yourself, you must build the discipline and drive and desire within yourself and show to yourself that the aforementioned is true.
You must take whatever caused your mood to change, and use that as motivation to complete a task in your life.
When you start using your anger and despair as positive motivation and fuel to get the fire started to take control of the situations that happen to you and not let them control you, you will become use to the fact and it becomes a good habit.
Habits lead to Routine, Routine becomes Discipline – and a raw, fiery discipline it will build.
The key to combating depression is keeping yourself busy – when you have nothing to do you will do nothing but dwell on your problems, and this becomes risky and damaging to the mind – you must do something productive and remain positive in order to keep yourself from being dragged to the depths of depression.
You cannot dwell on feelings of sadness and depression, you will find yourself the frog in the boiling water analogy, and likely won’t jump out of the pot in time.
Jealousy/Shame: Envy breeds violence and greed which can find you in risky situations and lead to danger.
Jealous people tend to rob, kill, steal, whatever it takes to appease their greed, and they often don’t consider the psychological aspects as to combat jealousy.
Shame tends to lead people to become depressed and upset, and may often persuade you to do things you normally wouldn’t due to your less-rational state of mind.
Jealousy/Shame in people has been commonly attributed to:
- Low self-esteem or insecurity
- Co-dependence (feeling of needing other people, be it friends, a significant other or just someone for comfort).
- A History of rejection.
- Lack of nurture or abuse as a child, and many others.
These factors all can play a major part in affecting your psyche to the point of jealousy, but what you must remember always is that you are unique – comparing yourself to others is pointless because there is always someone better than them, and comparing yourself to a type of person you should be is only going to add extra stress to your mind.
There is no true #1 in the world for anything – the world is constantly changing. All you can do is put forth the utmost effort to increase your own position in life financially, physically, mentally, and intellectually.
You must develop a discipline for controlling emotions through a sharp focus and the ability to maintain your drive for making yourself better than you were the day before, you will have a thirst and a hunger for power and wealth.
You need to have a way to control your mood, a happy place you can go to when you get mad, when you get sad and for a range of other emotions.
I’ve found in my experience that women are more inclined to react emotionally and to situations that affect them in such a way than men, but it still happens to both genders and can lead to ruin.
For example, I’ve seen tons of people making life changing and detrimental decisions just because they were mad, upset or depressed and it ends up sending them deeper and deeper onto a path to ruin, decisions I know they wouldn’t have made if they made the decision to just sit down, think and clear their head and consider all possibilities and likely outcomes.
Never, and I mean NEVER react to a situation out of anger, if you’re angry at somebody/something and want to do something about it, go do something productive to distract yourself first.
Work out, do some writing, go for a walk or a drive – just do something to relax yourself and calm down from your emotions.
Then when you are finally in a clear headed state of mind, and the anger and pain and all other negative factors have subsided only then can you come to a decision.
These are some of the basic human emotions people deal with on a daily basis, but learning to take control of your emotions will lead you to a life of happiness, a life where no one can disrupt or distract you from your goals, your life, and your happiness.